Very Mary-Kate S1:E4

Moving Out

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

Moving Day

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

Bodyguard

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

Baby Daddy

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

Depressed

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

Hangover

I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

Fight

I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

Philip Seymour Hoffman

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

Cat

I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

Back to School

I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

Extension

Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

Paper

I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

Crush

It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

Ashleyguard

But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

Nightmare

Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

Zac Efron

A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

Philip Seymour Hoffman 2

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

Gun

Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?