Caged Fury

Caged Fury opens with a scantily clad inmate escaping from her cell through a tunnel whose entrance is concealed by a poster. This is not a reference to The Shawshank Redemption, though after watching this women-in-prison flick I can say, like Andy Dufresne, that I crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

The girl’s soon recaptured, although how, where, and when remains as big a mystery as the logistics of her escape — and it doesn't really matter either, because we're never going to see her again. The real heroine is Kat Collins (Roxanna Michaels), a young aspiring actress on her way to Los Angeles from Utah.

Kat picks up Rhonda Wallace (April Dawn Dollarhide), and the two stay at Rhonda's on-and-off boyfriend Buck Lewis’s (Blake Bahner) apartment. The three go to a bar and watch The Zeros (a glam metal band so obscure they don't even appear in The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years) play.

Also on site are Victor (Erik Estrada) and his friend Dirk Ramsey (Richie Barathy). Victor is stressed "because this asshole biker I've been trying to find has been shaking up a friend of mine." Dirk warns him that "you can't go around fighting everyone else's battles," only to, in a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do scenario, more or less spends the rest of the movie fighting Victor's battles for him.

That same night they rescue Kat from a gang of horny bikers. Barathy doles out a rather rigid brand of martial arts, but at least as far as I can discern it’s him doing it; conversely, Estrada's style is to throw punches at the camera, let his stunt double and the editor do the heavy lifting, and then take the credit.

Buck gets Kat and Rhonda an audition the following day, but when the girls realize it's for a role in a porn movie and try to leave, an altercation ensues; the two are arrested, tried, and sentenced to prison in record time.

Obviously there’s something fishy going on, but what’s really happening is so incre...