7 Guardians of the Tomb

Right, I love this genre of action/adventure historical movie. How the hell we have ended up with this diabolical drivel, though, is as much of a mystery as could ever be hidden in an emperor's tomb. Kellan Lutz (Chris Pratt-lite) is the adventurer and Kelsey Grammar the megalomaniac businessman leading our intrepid team on a series of set-piece adventures in the search for the tomb of an ancient Chinese emperor. The SFX are the stuff of a school project and the script - well, less said about that the better.

This is not The Mummy. It isn't fun. It isn't Indiana Jones. It isn't engaging. It isn't even a decent spider-movie, because the spiders are not really all that impressive. Kelsey is like wood in this, and he appears tired and bored, pushing his performance and it just feels forced. This is not a good movie. It is good-looking, apart from the spiders, but that's not enough to make it worth your while.