Dragon Force

Disclaimer: The following plot summary of contains no fallacies on my part. Real humans wrote this, and got it filmed. Please do not contact me, accusing me of making up any of the plot points or characters' names. I owned this film on video, and everything is true and accurate.

On the VHS version, one of the first images to greet the viewer of this film are the three letters "I-U-D." Under the mistaken impression that this is a documentary on birth control, I-U-D stands for "Independent United Distributors." Princess Rawleen (Mandy Moore...no, not that Mandy Moore) is European royalty from the country of Mongrovia. Her right hand man, General Marushka (James Barnett), has teamed with a terrorist named Mr. Sly (Randy Channell Soei). They want to kidnap the princess, and get a hold of her country's chrome ore so they can overcharge makers of nuclear weapons and reactors. Rawleen stays with two friends in Hong Kong- Richard (Richard Lau), who offers her cocaine, and then drops the subject for the rest of the film, and Elana (Olivia Cheng). Rawleen is accompanied by her secretary Eva and security chief Max Leon. Much is made of Rawleen's virginity, and she is kidnapped by a bunch of ninjas. Strutting beauhunk Jack Sargeant (Bruce Baron) is called in by his boss, named Trouble, to find the princess. Sargeant must team with a group called Dragonforce in order to save her. Sargeant is told to visit a contact in Hong Kong and get some weaponry for the big fight. His contact's name? Ah Chu. Where is Ah Chu located? At the Good Fu-king Flour Company (please, reread my disclaimer if you find this hard to believe). Accompanied by "funny" music, Sargeant meets Ah Chu (by sneezing, of course), and does not take any weapons. Ah Chu then talks about a "double nothing guy from England" who is coming next week for weapons. Sargeant is sent to the Tiptoe Forest and meets his new coworkers- the Monk Kamikasu, cute Soo-lin (Frances Fong), and the leader Tau Lung (Bruce Li). In a cer...