After the Dark

I've watched a lot of dumb movies, but never had I seen one that defends the notion of 'ignorance is bliss' as zealously as After the Dark. Director John Huddles sets the action, such as it is, at an international school in Jakarta; specifically in Mr. Zimit's (James D'Arcy) class.

Zimit's is ostensibly a philosophy class, but it might as well be called 'Exposition 101'. “Do we feel like recapping some of our favorite thought experiments?,” Zimit asks rhetorically on the last day of school to his 20 students, some of whom proceed to do exactly that, also explaining what each experiment consists of.

Now, a classroom is as good a place for an Info Dump as you’ll ever find, but this feels like something more appropriate for the first day of school, not the last; this unfortunate timing turns this into a transparent case of As You Know.

Anyway, someone mentions the infinite monkey theorem: “if you put a monkey at a typewriter and let him bang away at it forever, he'll eventually, almost surely, completely randomly type out the entire play of Hamlet, word for word.” I'd make the obvious joke about how that’s the way this movie was written, except I'm convinced a monkey could do a much better job, and it wouldn't take forever either.

All of this is just a preface to Zimit's own thought experiment, which is a mix of Survivor, Big Brother, and Dungeons & Dragons. Basically, there is a fallout shelter with a capacity of ten people and the class must decide which ten go in and which 11 — counting Zimit — are left out, based on the fictional professions that Zimit randomly assigns them.

This exercise is done thrice, and the repetition only succeeds in highlighting how stupid the movie and its characters really are. For example, Zimit states about the shelter’s inhabitants that “They cannot share oxygen. Every cubic centimeter of breathable air here, once the outer door is sealed, comes from these compressed tanks. This place has been designed to hold 10 peopl...