Heart Eyes

In Heart Eyes, the Heart Eyes Killer or HEK has been at large for two years. HEK generally targets couples in love but will kill anyone just because. As HEK shows up in a town that has the biggest boner in existence for the romantic holiday, Ally (Olivia Holt) realizes that her marketing career may be over.

Ally has created an entire ad campaign for jewelry revolving around romantic couples dying and the company she works for is scrambling to create something new last minute. They call in a freelancer named Jay (Mason Gooding) to brainstorm something that will save the campaign and the company.

Ally, who not so secretly hates her job, is obsessed with her ex-boyfriend who is constantly posting on social media about his new love interest. Ally is overwhelmingly bitter over the concept of love while Jay is the opposite and is a complete sucker for falling head over heels for a soulmate. Ally believes that Jay wants to take her job, but the two begin to show interest in one another which puts them right into the swinging distance of the machete slashing and crossbow slinging HEK.

From director Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within) and writers Phillip Murphy (Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard), Christopher Landon (Freaky, Happy Death Day 2U), and Michael Kennedy (It’s a Wonderful Knife), Heart Eyes is probably the dumbest concept for a recent slasher film but cashes in on Valentine’s Day for the horror genre.

The slasher film begins with a couple attempting to have the perfect proposal. HEK brutalizes them with arrows and a compression chamber that squeezes until the victim inside is a gooey squish. Apart from the mask, HEK dons an all-leather outfit and the loudest black boots the world has ever heard. The camera also seems to hover around HEK’s crotch like it doesn’t want to show its face even though they’re always wearing a mask.

Heart Eyes is a romantic comedy caterpillar cocooned within a slasher film. The film feels like a romantic movie parody since it is consist...

With the eponymous killer having had some success in previous years despatching nauseatingly loved-up couples on Valentine’s Day in quite spectacular fashion, the city is nervously gearing up for this year’s event. It’s especially nerve-wracking for “Ally” (Olivia Holt) who has been involved in a marketing campaign at work that she just knows her boss is going to loathe! Add to this nervousness a rather Laurel and Hardy style of start to her day in the coffee shop with an handsome stranger and, well, “Ally” is ready for a bad day. Imagine her chagrin, then, when boss “Crystal” (Michaela Watkins) introduces the man she’s brought in to salvage things. Yep, it’s no less than “Jay” (Mason Gooding) with whom she had her earlier altercation. He’s smart, suave and she thinks he wants her job… Meantime, the media are in full panic mode after it discovers that the killer has found a delicious new use for a wine press! “Jay” thinks that a dinner might break the ice between the pair, but all that does it get them onto the radar of the dastardly assassin who promptly turns his attention on them. Despite their repeated protestations that they barely know each other, they appear to be doomed! I really quite enjoyed this, not least because it doesn’t try to take itself at all seriously and at times reminded me of an episode of “Scooby Do” morphed into “Halloween”. There’s a decent amount of sarcasm contained in the script, a soupçon of chemistry between the two leads and a denouement that just yells sequel at you in a not very scary voice! I don’t know if it is supposed to be a spoof, per se, but there are some scenes in a drive-in cinema that do suggest it’s tongue is in it’s cheek before she finds an ingenious new use for a recyclable drinks straw. It’s meant to be a bit of a fun poke at the ridiculously cheesy nature of Valentine’s Day and if you don’t guess who is doing what after half an hour, then go to the bottom of the class!